Let’s break the pattern of failed relationships

Have you ever stopped to think about why all of your past relationships never worked out.Why everytime they somehow ended in tears?
Honestly, you can’t tell me every single guy you met was a douchebag and you were just the unlucky one who always got to pick the bad eggs.

Every time you think of giving it a try with a guy who seems to interest you, the relationship usually takes a miracle to last three months, otherwise it always ends after only one or two dates or after they’ve had their way with you.

So what could be behind this pattern of failed relationships?

You may attribute your struggles to generational curses, or perhaps believe that God is leading you to encounter the wrong people before guiding you towards the right one.

I cannot confirm that but what I believe is that relationships are two way streets and whatever happens in a relationship between two people, whether good or bad shall be nobody else’s blame except for those two individuals because they are the force and they hold the ultimate power in that relationship.

Another thing I believe is that no one is really perfect and attaining perfection is an unattainable feat for everyone.We are all work in progress and nobody has everything figured out which makes it a mandate for you to focus on self development so that your partner will not have to go through the struggle of trying to mold an adult like you into the person you were supposed to be prior to their arrival into your life.

With that being said, if you have been noticing this pattern of failed relationships, it is high time you stop putting the blame on the devil and outside forces like those supposed bewitching aunties (not that I’m saying your thoughts are unfounded).Just shove that opinion at the back shelf meanwhile and try doing some self introspection.This time let it be about you and only you.

Ask yourself where you’ve been getting it wrong in your past relationships and this time you need to excuse the other party even though they might have contributed to the relationship failure.Do yourself a favor and start taking some serious accountability.
Have your communication game been top notch lately or you have been leaving some conversations hanging and dropping some subjects?
In what manner have you been conveying messages to her?
Have you consistently employed a gentle approach or have there been instances where you were deliberately harsh, probablyout of anger?
And madam, have you been raising your voice at him each time you got pissed, giving the silent treatment as punishment?

Well, only you know what’s been going on, but if you feel like your communication game needs to be polished, then it’s high time you start working on it because I know you want your next experience to be the best experience.

Alright, let’s assume you’ve been an ‘A’ student in this subject of communication and you always leave no stone unturned, making sure all issues are resolved once they are found…
Then this part is really not for you and I would like to applaud you for that.So maybe he/ she was on the wrong this time because he/she wasn’t open enough in the relationship which led to its collapse.

Nevertheless, let us address the issue of consistency…

Have you been keeping up with it? Be honest now because this is where most people slip up.
Have you been treating her the same way you did in your first days together or has the dynamic shifted over time?
Have you been calling to check on her during the day or showering her with gifts the way you used to when the relationship was still new or these days you just don’t seem to have the energy?
Consistency…
To my lady, have you been dressing up for him the way you used to on those first dates, looking all pretty and smelling delightfully pleasant?
Have you been the girl you made him believe you were?Polite, focused and humble or it was all pretence?
Honey, consistency is key and next time try to be stable and more committed in the relationship if you want to experience great change.

Last but not least, have you asked yourself what you are truly looking for in a partner and what you are looking to achieve before rushing to commit in a relationship?
If your main achievement is not marriage, then I honestly don’t know why you would want to commit in a relationship…Maybe it’s high time you need to start aligning your goals and priorities.

Perhaps in your past relationship you may have dated for fun and with no aim of furthering the relationship which might have resulted in its failure.

Have you been picking the partner who ticks all the boxes in your priority list or you have been compromising a lot and settling for way less?

Have you been letting looks alone deceive you, resulting in you ending with a handsome, charming hunk of a man who was also manipulative and abusive?

Or if you are a guy, have you been blinded by that hour glass body of hers that you ended up putting up with the disrespect and lies she came with?

Well, we sometimes make decisions that leads us into misery but it is a good thing to learn from those past mistakes and not repeat them.
To avoid unnecessary trouble, you may need to be with someone who knows your love language or at least someone who is willing to learn whilst you learn theirs.

Otherwise, relationships are meant to last for life as long as the builders are willing and able to put on the hard work that is required without unequally yoking each other.

Finally i would like to say that let us never stop loving, even when we get tired, let us never stop trying because I believe happiness lies in that four letter word…LOVE.