It was late night and as usual I was wide awake sobbing with my face buried inside my pillow trying by all means not to be heard.I’ve been going through some stuff that left me feeling very depressed.I haven’t been confiding in anyone and that even made me feel worse. Nothing was going to change. I was doing nothing about it and I just hated my life.
The reason I never talked about it with people is because I was afraid of judgement. I was so scared of being talked about behind my back and finding no solutions afterwards so I decided to just keep things to myself.
As I lay in bed hopeless, with a closed Bible next to my drawer, I began to wonder if God truly existed because I really was beginning to doubt.I had quit praying and going to church because I felt discouraged.I tried to get myself to sleep by listening to some music and that was when this song started playing. It was a gospel jam by a local artist called, “Ndinodurura Zvose” sang in my native language.
So this song, translated in English meant, “I pour everything that troubles my soul, I cast all my burdens to God. I find rest In Him my rock and place of refuge”
Well I had never heard of that song all my life, I don’t know what made me download it earlier on but I felt it was for a purpose. It was for such a time like this when I really needed to hear those words more than anything.
I knew the God I had long abandoned had come through for me. To talk to me and tell me to cast everything, even the things that felt so personal that I could not share with the rest of the world. He was telling me to tell it to Him, the only person who would listen without judgment. The only person who would listen without talking behind my back. For the first time in a while I really felt some peace and stability in my life. I wiped away my tears and smiled myself to sleep. Since last night, I know that my life will never be the same again.
Now as I am writing, for the first time in a while, I feel so revived. Indeed God has lifted the spirit of heaviness from me and replaced it with the garment of praise like he promised in Isaiah 61 verse 3:
King James Version (Isaiah 61:3)
3 To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, that he might be glorified.
I know for some reason you might be experiencing what I have been experiencing for the past months.You might be in so much pain, you might be going through so much that has robbed you of your joy.
Maybe it is not you but it’s someone that you know, a close friend, a family member or a neighbor. I may not know or understand it but what I know and understand is nobody deserves to be in such a miserable situation especially for a long time. Nobody deserves to feel like giving up on their life and their dreams.
Maybe in your case there seem to be no solution, maybe you are silently suffering from a chronic illness, you are terribly depressed and drained but I am alive to testify that there is somebody who is ever ready to listen.
He says in Psalms 55:2, “Cast your burden upon the Lord and he will sustain you”
He also assured in Matthew 11:28 to 30:
28
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.
29
Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.
30
For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”
Maybe you still doubt but he already made it clear even in the book of 1Peter 5 verse 7 to ‘cast all your anxiety on Him because he cares for you’
It’s not just a promise but it’s a command.
It never feels easy till you give it a try.
Your testimony awaits as long as you make up your mind to trust Him enough to pour it out to Him. To let him be the carrier of that heavy burden whilst he gives you a much lighter yoke.
He is waiting and He loves you more than you imagine!
©️ Jesse T Gambanga
SheWritesIt 